Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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