I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
