ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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