I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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