Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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