I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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