Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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