The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Just pee around me
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
