respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
