went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
