We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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