U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Acid is not a monday night drug
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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