Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize