Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Shame - the story of my life.
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