were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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