porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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