her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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