Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
