I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
