it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize