You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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