Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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