Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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