I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
