You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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