i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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