Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
