Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
