wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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