Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Just invented taco cereal.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
