It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
