I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
