it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
dude i'm inner monologue high
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
