in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
