i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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