Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
where does the pee come out of this thing
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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