You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
