It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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