You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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