3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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