i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
