Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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