We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
