I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I want a musical about memes.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
