I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Green mimosas i think yes
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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