So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
