hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
