we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
