Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
