what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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