i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
