She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
