I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
