I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
