Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Even my vagina gasped.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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