I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We talked him into tasing himself.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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