he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
