yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
