All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
