dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
is wine microwaveable?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
