i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
