Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize