so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
