OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
