How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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