You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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