i don't like sucking hair
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
