He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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