why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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